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Tuna Catsserole

by Eugene Ruff-Wagner

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An almost true story, released on International Cat Day.


My wife’s not eccentric
She’s clever to the core
With sawdust and duct tape
Makes a meal you’ll adore

Yes that’s how good she truly is
But the trait I can’t ignore
Is when it comes to owning cats
She cries more, more, more

I said why are cats great at all
When all they do is puke
She laughed and says don’t you recall
That Skittles plays the uke

And don’t you know
The ol’ banjo is plucked by old Bamboo
And hey diddle diddle
Kitty in the middle
Menti Cat says she plays the fiddle

And Natasha she is long and thin
So she’s the one plays mandolin
And last not least it’s so bizarre
That Clockwork Orange plays guitar

Bella Boodle, she books the band
Collects the pay and drives the van
But we need one more to be a fan
The name is Kitty Purry – please?!

I said what have you been smoking
I remember none of that
And even in my wildest dreams
There are no musician cats

But then and there I said okay
Let’s see if they’re the best
I gave ‘em all the instruments
And put ‘em to the test

Meow meow meow meow
Meow meow meow meow meow
Meow meow meow meow
Meow meow meow meow meow

It sounded so ridiculous
I couldn’t help but cry
But then I got real serious
And looked her in the eye

I said that sounded terrible
Not good, not even fair
But if we play our cards just right
They’ll make us millionaires

So I said yes, now here we are
At the famous Hollywood Bowl
With the fab feline phenomenon
Known as Tuna Catsserole

Yes they make us tons of money
And our bank account is fat
But I’ve had to tell my honey
Now my dear, I’m telling you


released August 8, 2023


all rights reserved



Eugene Ruff-Wagner Edgewood, New Mexico

Knowing that songwriting was “the ticket” to girls, fame, and fortune, with his songs Eugene found his dream girl and became a hundred- aire! Whether writing alone or with others, and with influences ranging from Tom Lehrer to Tom Petty, Hayseed Dixie to AC/DC, and Ray Stevens to Stevie Ray, his music pays tribute everywhere and includes splashes of humor whenever possible. Happy listening! ... more

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